ON RAPE CULTURE

Yesterday I sat down to create a blog post. It has been a long time. I have been busy, and issues have been taking place that I've felt unsure tips on how to comment on as somebody who writes about sex. Particularly, there was that fucked up Girls Ep (spoiler) where Adam has sex using a woman that she will not would like to have, that doesn't make her feel good. But we, the viewers, are somehow anticipated to empathize with him mainly because it is not his fault that he’s fucked up and hurts men and women? And after that there was Steubenville, and absolutely everyone was speaking and talking and speaking about it. And it felt like a lot of folks and journalists and media outlets were undertaking such a fucking bad job of talking about it. It seemed as even though sex and consent, partnered with rape and sexual assault, had grow to be super hot topics and everyone was throwing in their two cents. And when such public discourse around rape produced me feel great, additionally, it created me really feel weird. It feels strong to engage within a discourse of consent with all sorts of distinct persons. It felt hopeful to watch women and girls, which include Steubenville’s Jane Doe, come forward and share their stories with such strength and bravery. But, additionally, it felt hard to appear at. It also felt complicated to talk about. Talking about rape hurts me. It hurts a great deal of people. It is not a simple conversation and also the way that it seemed to become taking place everywhere made me really feel conflicted.

So, yesterday I began writing a blog post concerning the significance of talking about consent, plus the importance of talking about rape, but also in regards to the importance of remembering that these issues are delicate. I wanted to write about how we need to often give trigger warnings just before we begin talking about rape. I wanted to write about how we really should think about people’s histories just before we engage in heavy discussions about sexual assault. I wanted to write about how difficult these conversations might be and how they need to happen softly.

And after that the story of Rehtaeh Parsons came out and filled my news feed. And I stopped writing.

Rehtaeh’s story is so heartbreaking that it can be tough to speak about it. Part of me doesn’t want to look at it. A part of me wants to pretend that these stories don’t take place. So, I stopped writing that weblog post. I felt completely unequipped to create about rape inside the face of such a painful rape story. I went for the sex shop I perform at. I spent the afternoon talking about sex. The conversations have been light and straightforward. I taught a man about his prostate. I helped a person pick out a dildo and harness. It felt good. It felt critical. Sex education often does.

I finished my shift and went to the pool. I had been actively attempting to not contemplate Rehtaeh all day. I did not choose to think of Steubenville. I did not desire to picture the methods in which women’s bodies are hurt and demeaned and policed and degraded. In the adjust room, an additional woman recognized me. She was naked and so was I, and we stood there in our naked bodies, bodies that are sturdy but that may be hurt, bodies which might be topic to violence, bodies that for all their beauty we're taught to not really like. She thanked me. I had offered a lecture to her class about the sexual wellness desires of persons with disabilities. I had brought in sex toys that may be adapted for folks with distinctive skills. This lady had never touched a sex toy ahead of, and she thanked me for the opportunity. She told me she had never had an orgasm prior to, and sex made her nervous but excited, and she was so grateful that she had been exposed to sex toys in such a protected space. She wanted to come for the retailer and talk to the staff, to understand additional about her physique.

And that is when I realized that if it is important to talk about sex lightly, it is just as essential to speak about it with weight also. If I am positive that exciting and informative sexual well being education is essential, than I'm sure that talking about rape, and sexual assault, and violence against females & trans people’s bodies is important as well. Even when it feels tough. Even when it hurts. Bondage Toys are the treasure for the people who like role play masochism and sadism.

Rehtaeh’s story is unfortunately not an anomaly. In Canada, one in every seventeen women is raped at some point in her life. And girls and young females between the ages of 15 and 24 are the most likely victims. This happens since we live within a rape culture.  Vibrators free shipping is popular.